Standing among the Silent Ranks...

Having a conversation with a newly found friend about being a military wife got me thinking about the past 6 years being married to my Air Force husband. What an honor it has been for me to stand next to my husband and support him in protecting our freedoms. I feel so blessed and grateful for the opportunities I have been given and experienced while being with him. I could not imagine my life any way!

So being a newly married military spouse I found it diffucult to adjust as many do. Our husbands endure long work hours, unexpected departures and long TDY's and deployments and we just take it and deal with it. It took me a little bit but I found my niche and did my wife duties as best I could. We found a great group of friends there(there being Holloman AFB, New Mexico), many of whom we still keep in contact with. SO when we got orders to come here to Okinawa I was sad to leave our friends and family and end that chapter of our life but excited to start a new one! So we get here and get settled in and suddenly I felt sad and alone. My husband tried to help me and comfort me but he just didn't understand. I fell into a deep deep hole and didn't know how to pull myself out. Because of my sadness we started having more and more arguments and finally my husband said enough. We started counseling for us, I went for myself and I was put on an anti-depressant. As I think back to that time it brings me to tears because I had never experienced that before and I never want to again. I thought that it would be like it was at our last base and people would embrace us but it was the opposite. The women were judgmental and cruel. I couldn't find anyone that could relate to what I was going through.  I lost a part of myself and became very insecure. I am ashamed that I let them get to me..I should have been stronger! My husband was the only one who knew what I was going through, I didn't even tell my family because I knew they wouldn't understand.

The reason I am telling my story because I hope that others out there know they are not alone. It is very hard to be in a new place and not know anyone. Three years later and I am just now starting to find myself again. I have surrounded myself with a few amazing fellow military spouses and they really bless my life everyday. Being a military wife has brought so much more to my life and I would never give up this lifestyle. I have learned to keep my head up and push along. I feel honored to stand next to my Airman!

When God Created the Military Wife

When the Lord was creating a military wife He ran into His sixth day of overtime. An angel appeared and said, "You're having a lot of trouble with this one. What's wrong with the standard model?"

The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? It has to be completely independent but must always be sponsored to get on a military installation. It must have the qualities of both mother and father during deployments, be a perfect host to 4 or 40, handle emergencies without an instruction manual, cope with flu and moves all around the world, have a kiss that cures anything from a child's bruised knee to a husband's weary days, have the patience of a saint when waiting for its mate to come home and, have six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands? No way." The Lord answered, "Don't worry; we will make other military wives to help. Besides, it's not the hands that are causing the problem, it's the heart. It must swell with pride, sustain the ache of numerous separations while remaining true, beat soundly even when it feels too tired to do so, be large enough to say 'I understand' when it doesn't, and say 'I love you', regardless.

"Lord," said the angel, gently touching His sleeve. "Go to bed. You can finish it tomorrow." "I can't," said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating something quite unique. Already it can heal itself when sick, on a moment’s notice it will willingly embrace and feed total strangers who have been stranded during a PCS move and it can wave goodbye to its husband understanding why he had to leave."

The angel circled the model of the military wife very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

"But tough," the Lord said excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this being can do or endure."

"Can it think?" asked the angel. "Can it think?! It can convert 1400 to 2 p.m.," replied the Lord.

Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she said. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model." It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear." "What's it for?" asked the angel. "It's for joy, sadness, pain, loneliness and pride." "You're a genius," said the angel.

Looking at her somberly, the Lord replied, "I didn't put it there."