PREFACE: This is our life, our reality. I'm not looking for attention or sympathy. I am simply sharing our life in the instance someone can relate. Writing is therapeutic and since I'm a wife and mother this is what I will be writing about. Our life is no better or worse than anyone else's. Its our life and we deal with our issues in our own ways. So roll your eyes, cry with me, laugh with me or simply don't continue reading but I will continue to share. Thank you.
So we are almost one month into this 7 month deployment and talk about a humbling yet stressful experience. I have learned so much in such a short period of time. Let me share some of what I have learned but more importantly what I am grateful for.
1. The most important thing I have learned is how much love a child has for a parent. Watching my daughter struggle with this situation has been heartbreaking but also humbling. I told my husband the second week he was gone that he should never doubt the love Isabelle has for him. Her little world truly revolves around him.
2. Tears are an acceptable way to get thru your day. Let it out and move on.
3. Gel glitter pens and cool coloring books are great ways to blow of steam and have great conversations with your children when they are struggling. They also add lots of color to their gray days.
4. I have learned to really pick my battles. For example, Isabelle was home sick on Friday and her and Ava come to me and ask if they can make their own snowflakes and of course I obliged. Awhile later I go down stairs to check on them and my whole living room was covered in snowflakes taped to the walls and furniture with green painters tape (apparently all they could find). Instead of being upset I was just grateful that they were smiling and it really did look beautiful in its own way.
5. Monday mornings are the worst, especially for Izzy. I don't know if its because its another week without dad or because we don't get to talk to him that often during the week due to the time difference. Maybe a combination of both. Pre-school activities usually involve either tears or her letting me know she isn't going to school, usually both.
6. Some days its really hard to be positive. 200 days seems so daunting. People keep telling me that this will go by fast but it sure doesn't feel like it.
7. I really don't know how fellow military spouses/civilian spouses can do this more than once. You have my utmost respect.
8. As hard as I try, I am not dad. As much I as want to, I do not offer the security he does. And as much as it may hurt when my child pushes me away because I am not dad, I am learning its not personal, its just her way of dealing.
9. Between 8:25-8:40, as they are lying in bed they have what they call "chit chat" time. It seems to really help them. I don't listen to what they talk about, I feel its important that they have that time with each other.
10. Separation anxiety is real. Ava has been sleeping on Isabelle's floor since a couple weeks before Arnold left. It is the only way she sleeps good. Also, the girls will not go upstairs unless I am with them.
11. Isabelle never forgets to mark off a day on her deployment calendar. It is so important to her.
12. I am so truly grateful for my tribe. I have received so much support from so many people. Its not that I can't handle Arnold being gone, its just been a struggle watching my kids try to deal and I miss him. I have family and friends that are constantly calling and texting me to check on us. I cannot thank you enough for being there. It truly means the world to me.
13. I have been humbled by the realization that my husband contributes so much in raising our children. Sometimes when they are home we often complain about what they aren't doing. Him being gone has made me appreciate him and his contributions to our family so much more.
I love my life and wouldn't change anything. Every experience is a lesson. I am grateful for this one. I am so proud of my husband and the sacrifices he is making for our country. He is a wonderful role model for our children. This is our life and though it may seem boring to some, its just our reality. Thank you for reading. ~Nicole
0 comments:
Post a Comment